Middlicious - Living A Magnificent, Delicious Mid-Life

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Middlicious - Living A Magnificent, Delicious Mid-Life

Episode Playlist
Middlicious - 01-04-2020 Ep 57( 0:28:40)       
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Nick Allen part 1 of 2
Published: 4/1/2020 9:38:26 AM
Middlicious - 25-03-2020( 0:41:31)       
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Live at Festival of Cultures 2020, with Fraser Greig, Michelle Thomspon, and Greg Watson
Published: 3/25/2020 11:56:02 AM
Middlicious - 18-03-2020 Ep 55( 0:29:5)       
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Mark Ranby - Part 3
Published: 3/18/2020 5:09:03 PM
Middlicious - 11-03-2020 Ep 54( 0:29:5)       
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Mark Ranby - pt 2
Published: 3/11/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 04-03-2020 Ep 53( 0:28:34)       
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Mark_Ranby_pt_1
Published: 3/4/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 26-02-2020 Ep 52( 0:29:26)       
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Lisa Tamati
Published: 2/26/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 19-02-2020 Ep 51( 0:28:48)       
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Lynn Kirkland - Part 2
Published: 2/19/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 12-02-2020 Ep 50( 0:28:59)       
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Lynn Kirkland - pt 1
Published: 2/12/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 05-02-2020 Ep 49( 0:29:35)       
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Amanda Cox - Part 2
Published: 2/5/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 29-01-2020 Ep 48( 0:30:37)       
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Amanda Cox - pt 1
Published: 1/29/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 22-01-2020 Ep 47( 0:29:17)       
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Lynette Bailey - part 2
Published: 1/22/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 15-01-2020 Ep 46( 0:28:41)       
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Lynette Bailey pt 1
Published: 1/15/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 08-01-2020 Ep 45( 0:29:56)       
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Emma - Sisterhood of Style (Part 2/2) - Niki talks to EJ from Sisterhood of style to discuss what we can do at the beginning of the year to create a New Year, New You. | 1:54 – Niki asks if there is anything EJ encourages people to do at the beginning of the year regarding their wardrobe. They go onto discuss the pressure that comes with New Year to set goals and reinvent ones self. | 2:40 – EJ encourages us to have a No Spend January – because of the financial pressure that comes with Christmas and also to go easy on ourselves and use January to see what is going to unfold in the New Year. Janaury is a time to get back into the flow of things and figure out what is important. | 4:07 – EJ also goes on to say that New Year can be cleansing time because we often have that time in New Zealand because that is out big, summer holiday. | 6:01 – Is there a risk around sales that people buy things they don’t need and don’t wear, because they are cheap. EJ comments that she says it a lot. Bulky wardrobes where people only wear 20-30% of their clothes because they are overwhelmed with what they see. | 8:29 – A discussion around buying things that are ethically made. Is shopping ethically and sustainable harder? EJ goes on to encourage people to do their research regardless of whether they are buying high end or high street. Tearfund put out a list every year where they rate companies on how they are doing ethically. | 11:00 – Visible mending is a new thing where people make their old clothes bespoke by visibly mending them with a different colour thread or fabric. It is a step up from re-purposing. EJ also invites us to look after our clothes more so they last and to get away from using cheap washing products full of microbeads. | 14:05 – What do we need to think of as Midlife women? We are told that our waists will thicken and for many of us our body does change. Look at what you have rather than what you don’t. Accentuate the positives. Putting a line at a point you want to accentuate. eg – if you want to accentuate your waist then wear a belt. She also goes onto say to remember that others do not look at us with the critical eye we do in the mirror. We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves. Wrap dresses are great with thickened waists and A-line dresses to the knee | 18:19 – What are the common mistakes when it comes to style? 1) Holding onto a size that no longer fits because we do not want to go up a size and 2) buying too much. Sales can be good however there are some things to think about a) use them to buy those more expensive items that are going to last for years like handbags, lingerie. b) don’t go in with the idea of buying bulk of anything. | 23:55 – Lets challenge the idea that the smaller number the better we are. The perceptions we have about our size. There seems to be two types of women – those that think they are bigger than they are and those that think they are smaller. | 26:31 – So what do we do as we age to be that vibrant older women that doesn’t melt into the background and stands in their own individuality. Use colour and wear what makes you feel fabulous
Published: 1/8/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 06-01-2020 Ep 44( 0:29:42)       
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Emma (Sisterhood of Style) | EJ talks about how she got into style consulting. How she noticed at 40 that she felt really confident however other women did not seem to feel the same way. | 4:47 – Emma makes a comment about how we use clothes to armour ourselves and also to help ourselves feel more confident. We wear how we feel whether we mean to or not. | 5:12 – Niki starts the discussion around menopause, our reluctance to talk about it and how we change that. She also talks about how women believe that when they turn 50 they feel invisible however they make it worse by wearing themselves into invisibility.’ | 6:55 – EJ states how she is not going to go into menopause quietly, It is finding peace with the changes that occur during this time. She talks about how she wants to style women as they are not -not how they were 10 years ago. She wants to help women redefine their style again and reignite their confidence. To help them show a bit more of their personality. | 8:28 – Niki poses the question where do we find real role models for ageing women? Women who have the thickened waist and the other changes that can come with mid-life. The everyday role models that make it ok to look a bit older. And do we need to get rid of terms like ‘frumpy’. | 9:29 – what does it mean to come to a personal stylist. EJ talks about her style parties, personal shopping, wardrobe edits. She goes on to say that she works on building on what they already have rather than getting stuck into the ‘I don’t have anything to wear’ | 11:13 – Niki praises EJ’s idea that rules are for breaking. Niki expresses her concern around style consulting because women do not need another set of rules. | 11:50 -EJ shares a story of a client she worked with on the day we recorded. How it was about helping this person find who she was again after she had lost a lot of weight. Also how we want change however can be resistant to it. | 14.00 – Women get stuck in a rut of sameness! Why does it happen? Does it we felt good at a particular age so we continue to look like that. | 16:20 – the importance of being inspired by the right people. Following the best people on Instagram and being influenced by the right things. Also does the Kiwi Tall Poppy syndrome come into play. | 17:48 – do we get into the habit of wearing the same thing because it was easy. Niki discusses the idea of minimizing decision making. EJ responds with the I have nothing to wear syndrome and the ideas that can reduce the morning angst that comes with deciding what to wear. She shares her tip of making sure you get what you are wearing out and ready the night before – right down to your underwear. | 20:29 – reducing the need to have seasonal based wardrobes. Do we make the mistake of buying a lot of clothes in the attempt to look good, or because it is on sale. Buying things for the wrong reasons. Simple rule of does it look great, does it enhance your body shape and does it make you feel good. | 22:12 – Niki asks the question what makes women look fantastic as they age. She goes on to share her ageing role models including the Queen who rocks with colour in her 90’s. EJ says it is about head to toe. Finding your style and feeling comfortable. Having great skin care so you enhance your healthy glow. Finishing off the outfit. Even down to the right bra. She encourages women to get a bra fitting in menopause.
Published: 1/1/2020 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 25-12-2019 Ep 43( 0:28:58)       
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Kenn Butler - Paradise Financial Advisors - Kenn shares his amazing story of having a heart attack young and living with health issues. Also his passion for all things insurance!
Published: 12/25/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 18-12-2019 Ep 42( 0:29:14)       
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In this episode Niki answers the questions she poses to her guests. She talks about what she has learned as she has aged and lives a Middlcious midlife.
Published: 12/18/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 04-12-2019 Ep 40( 0:29:23)       
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Aimee Stewart - Connect Plus (Part 1/2) | Aimee tells what it was like to grow up with 5 sisters in the south. She also talks about what led her from a Degree in Art History to a career in Fashion | 4:13 -A dream job of being a buyer with a fashion house. Niki laughs as for her, as someone who hates shopping, this would be a nightmare. The beauty of difference | 6:41 – A discussion around the challenges with retail and encouraging mid-lifers to be relevant and be ahead of the game. Aimee talks about the business she started with her business partner, Connect Plus and how they help by becoming involved with the business. There is also a discussion about overseas and how the move is going back toward boutique stores | 8:31 – the lost opportunity regarding marketing to midlifers. The Boutique stores are more targeting mid life women in particular. A discussion about how mid life shoppers differ to younger shoppers | 10:16 – Niki asks Aimee what has surprised her about getting older. How society does not value us. The surprise of being irrelevant and not being valued or invited to express an opinion. Niki shares an experience of ageism that while amusing is also very telling. | 12:03 – Is the journey of ageing tougher for women? What about our midlife white men who are the new hated | 12:37 – Is this what we thought life would be at this age? Aimee talk about the difference between 20 & 30. Focusing on the elements of her life now that are great. | 14:33 – the pressure we put on ourselves because of where we feel we should be. The judgement around motherhood. Niki talks about some beliefs around retirement and it being the last stage of life. | 17:08 – What advice would you give your 20 year old self? Not sweating the small stuff. Enjoy life. Don’t worry about what other people think. | 19:00 – a discussion about mental health, meditation and what does being mentally healthy look like. Niki talks about her concerns around mid life suicides. | 22:00 – Has social media been a game changer? And how we let technology invade our lives. The spoken word drifts past us and gives us an opportunity to consider and respond. | 27:50 – 3 life lessons. 1) Don’t worry about things that don’t matter. 2) let go of what others think 3) focus on what you need to do to achieve your goals
Published: 12/4/2019 4:15:11 PM
Middlicious - 27-11-2019 Ep 39( 0:29:53)       
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Kathryn Jackson - all things wellbeing (Part 2/2) - "2:08 – Niki asks Kathryn is Social Media impacting on our well-being. Kathryn talks about the early research showing that there is a very addictive side to our communication technology today which is concerning. It has been said that Smart Phones may well become the smoking of our generation. There is concern about children becoming little mini-addicts if there exposure to these devices is too frequent. | 4:12 – A discussion about keyboard warriors. A lot of ‘bravery’ when you are faceless but not a lot of kindness, However she also goes on to say that modern technology has increased our social connectedness. We can connect with people all over the world with little effort. Both Niki and Kathryn refer to the Simon Sinek video about phone use in relationships. Do we need to put boundaries around technology. | 9:38 – We discuss the issues in the workplace around social media. Kathryn says she likes to think there is an element of trust involved however most workplaces have preventive policies to limit use of social media during work hours. It is an ongoing and developing issue that few work places have mastered at this stage. | 12:13 – Niki invites Kathryn to talk about her very successful book ‘Resilience at work’. For 6 months it was a secret book then a call came in January to say it had been short-listed for the best international business book. This was a game changer and the book catapulted into a best seller. Kathryn also tells the story of why she wrote the book in the first place and the strength of having it published by a publishing house first off. | 16:41 – What do we need to be resilient at work? Niki eludes to mid-lifers who are often in situations where things need to change in their work life. 1) Decide for yourself what wellbeing at work looks like first. For example if balance is important then make that your priority. | 2) Then work out how you are going to navigate the bumps in the road to maintain what it is your desire. | 23:00 – Kathryn also states the importance of treating work as something that fits into your whole life and not a separate entity that everything else has to work around. Niki discusses her going to London to study under Dr Robert Holden and doing Success Intelligence coach training and the basis of this being clarity around what it is your truly want. Kathryn talks about how many of us are on the ‘sleep walk of doom’. Being unconscious about our work lives and living it re-actively. The importance of conscious action. | 24:45 – She goes onto say how being in Christchurch during the earthquakes and, in particular, the Kaikoura earthquake changed everything for a lot of people including herself. Kathryn invites us to notice what we are choosing to notice. | Kathryn can be found on www.careerbalance.co.nz and her book is ‘Resilience at work’.
Published: 11/27/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 20-11-2019 Ep 38( 0:28:57)       
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Kathryn Jackson - resilience at work (Part 1/2) | "2:43- Kathryn talks about her childhood as a child to military parents and what that means – the privilege of getting to live in different countries and experience different cultures. | 3;22 – Kathryn talks about the resilience she built because she was a military kid and the experience that came with living in different places.She talks about how military kids are referred to as dandelions because they make their home where ever they happen to be and settle where ever they are scattered. | 4:20 – Kathryn also talks about how her anxiety developed as she was a military kid at a time when the IRA were strong and in the middle of the Cold War. | 4:48 – After graduating from University she went into HR and exploring the world of work. how to attract really great people and also how to help people going to work to strive rather than survive. | 5:50 – Niki asks can we be anxious and be resilient at the same time. Kathryn talks about how we have set our emotions to positive emotions only and the cost of that.’ | 6:29 – We need to understand that life doesn’t always go to plan and we need to lean into all emotions and not make ‘bad’ emotions bad. | 7:50 – have we been sold the idea that if we set a goal we will get there as long as you don’t take your eye off the ball and you take daily action. It is not the truth because things happen that prevent us getting there. | 8:25 – if I have set my emotions dial to positive only then am I equipped to manage when something happens that drops me to my knees. Kathryn talks about the complicated nature of human emotions and that there is not a clear yes/no answer to the question. | 9:15 – Kathryn talks about how living in Christchurch, New Zealand, has given her a lot of opportunity to study resilience. With the Earthquakes and the Terrorist attacks so her role as Leadership Development coach they realized they were going to be building teams of pretty traumatized people. | 11:20 – The people who understand their emotions tend to fare better when the tough things happen than those who have the positive dial on and do not learn to experience and manage emotions. | 12:30 – What is well-being? If Kathryn was to ask individuals people would give different answers. Based on the science things like PERMA, from positive Psychology and Whare Tapi Wha =- the Maori model of well-being. Kathryn says that really is whether you feel good and function well. | 14:15 – Well-being is not about one particular thing – for example it is not about going for a run. That is physical well-being and just an aspect of the big picture. Nor is it just about mindfulness. | 14:44 – Well-being starts with mental well-being. It is important to be honest about what you natural place is from a well-being perspective and noticing when that wobbles. | 15:21- The second bucket is self care and this includes spiritual and physical well-being. There are all sorts of versions of self care. | 16:00 – the third bucket is social well-being. Being well connected and not just with people who are going to agree with you and support your story of despair. The final bucket is intellectual well-being. Continually learning and growing. | 17:10 – Also the importance of having meaning in life. Learning to ask ourselves how we are feeling on a day to day basis. Not just about how am I performing ok. | 18:00 – Niki talks about how important these aspects are during mid-life. There are clear connections with great ageing and self care, exercising and the social connections we have. | 19:10 – Is it all teachable. The best time to plant a tree was 25 years ago. The next best time is now. Yes it can be learned and it is certainly linked to ageing well. You are never too old to learn. | 20:49 – Kathryn talks about how her book, which is about resilience at work, is actually pertinent to life in general. From a life experience perspective well-being comes before resilience. | 22:25 – Niki talks about her mothers advice about always putting your kids to bed in the afternoon so she had some ‘me’ time. How she used that time for exercise because that is what made her feel great. | 23:26 – As a Baby Boomer talks about how we didn’t talk about this. Niki expresses her surprise that resilience was not discussed during the days of war when people were going through so much. Kathryn states that it would be sad if we believed that we need war to build resilience. She also goes onto say that each generation has their resilient people."
Published: 11/20/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 13-11-2019 Ep 37( 0:56:23)       
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Mark Hadlow - MAMIL Special! - | :05 – Niki introduces her guest Mark Hadlow who is in Palmerston North performing MAMIL at Centrepoint Theatre. | 2:06 – Mark talks about how difficult to find continuous and consistent work as an actor | 2:37 – He goes on to discuss the changing landscape with the decreased funding for the creative arts and the increased competition through entertainment that is available at home | 3:15 – Niki and Mark talk about getting people back into live theatre. Niki poses the questions with what people spend on things such as Netflix, Sky, Lightbox, Apple TV etc could easily cover a couple of theatre tickets | 5:40 – How the issues today with the increased cost of living and how that is contributing to what is happening with the decreasing audience numbers at live theatre sometimes meaning actors are asked to take a pay cut. | 9:05 – a discussion about what is wonderful about New Zealand theatre putting on New Zealand plays and how it is a commentary on the society we live in. How important this work is. | 10:00 – Niki asks Mark what he has seen change in his 41 years he has been involved in theatre. He goes onto discuss how he loves what theatre enables audiences to do. To bare witness to whatever it is they want to see in what is in front of them. | 13:39 – How important it is for theatre to tour around the country, particularly to our small rural areas that have wonderful halls and places to bring the communities together. Mark talks about his start with Mercury Education Theatre and travelling around performing at schools. | 16:32 – Niki shares the level of discomfort that can occur as an audience member when you are so close to the action particularly in smaller theatres like Centrepoint in Palmerston North | 18:00 – Mark challenges Kiwi’s habit of sitting in the back row at theatre and how much better the experience is in the front row. In the front row you are more likely to be engaged. He also shares a story of a woman in Christchurch who he stopped the play to challenge her on her phone use and invited her to leave because of how she was interrupting the actor and the audience. | 23:15 – Marks story around why he became an actor and his story of acting in school, to being in the Navy Band to attending drama school and then going onto performing with the Mercury Education Theatre. | 26:00 – an interesting discussion around the damage of reality TV and how it is stripping the value of great drama and the stripping of talent to make it succeed. | 28:41 – NIki and Mark have a discussion around Baby Boomers being hated at the moment and Mark challenges that because the world we actually have and that was created by Boomers is actually not that bad. | 30:21 – Shortland Street the Musical and how surprised and saddened Mark was that it died at the box office. He also talks about the challenge of theatre in Auckland with transport difficulties and costs. | 36:36 – Niki asks Mark about ageism in the industry. Is there a difference between the Brits who seem to embrace older women and America who just don’t seem to. | 40:43 – Niki gets excited as she asks Mark about working with Aidan Turner when he worked on the set of the Hobbit as well as Ian McKellan and Martin Freeman. | 42:33 – Mark starts to talk about MAMIL and how it came about. He shares the experience that started it all and the process involved in Greg Cooper writing it and Mark performing. He says the themes have an international flavour and wonderful it is.
Published: 11/13/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 06-11-2019 Ep 36( 0:29:47)       
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Jess Stuart - Success, coming out and more (Part 2/2) | :36 – Niki invites Jess to talk about the success culture we live in today. Jess shares her own story and how she was striving but never felt happy. | 3:17 – Jess describes how doing a job that involved a complete loss of status taught her so many valuable lessons. The discussion continues around status and Niki refers to ‘Status Anxiety’, a documentary serious by Alain de Botton and how it is those we think are most alike us that we envy the most | 5:26 – Mindfulness -an antidote to the busy we live in and the pressure to be busy. How we get our self-worth from being busy because someone has noticed enough to be asked to do something. Loading ourselves up so our lives become frantic. | 8:08 – Jess talks about her whole mindfulness practice. Using meditation, walking the dog and swimming as examples of opportunities to become mindful. She also talks about finding an anchor that grounds you. Jess also goes on to discuss her own meditation practice. | 9:54 – Finding the pauses to check in rather than go straight into our devices. A discussion takes place about the traps that occur with devices. Is it why we are so lonely? Is it about lifting your head and noticing what is going on. | 12:06 – Jess talks about the basis behind her new book she is currently writing. How to master the juggle that is our life and how we need to stop being all things to all people. | 12.32 – Jess shares her very personal story about coming out. The journey of discovering who she really was after unpacking who she had become. The fear around being rejected in a conservative, christian family. | 18:32 – What advice would you give a mid-lifer who wants to come out? The challenges is having to tell it more than once. The constant battle against assumptions. Are we more tolerant with being gay as Kiwi’s? | 20:18 – A discussion around regrets. Jess talks about her philosophy that everything that happens creates who we are and we should never regret. | 22:08 – what are the 3 lessons you want people to learn from. 1) When we get quiet, get still and by ourselves we get to know ourselves more 2) the importance of self-care 3) Learn to have a great relationship with failure. Use it as something to learn from. | 25:30 – The more you risks you take the more likely you are to experience failure and that is ok. The critics are not the ones who are putting themselves out there. | 26:51 – what inspires you? A thirst for knowledge. Those closest to Jess are who she values the most. Niki says how she would love to inspire her children.
Published: 11/6/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 30-10-2019 Ep 35( 0:29:23)       
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In this episode Niki talks to Coach and Author Jess Stuart. (Part 1/2) | 1:52 – Jess talks about her childhood in England and how she was raised in a conservative rural town. Then the decision to come across to the other side of the world to settle. Jess now lives in Wellington where she is currently working on her third book | 4:14 – Niki invites Jess to talk about Impostor Syndrome – what it is and why is it trending at the moment. Jess says it has been around for years – it came to be known as Impostor Syndrome when a book was written about it. It is that sense many of us carry around that compared to other people we will always feel short. Jess goes on to say it is about internalizing our accomplishments. we wave away praise or acknowledgements of the things we have done. We tend to explain success away. | 6:08 – Is the tall poppy syndrome the same? Jess says that in New Zealand it is the perfect storm of moving away from what we achieved because we fear the consequences of what sharing may bring. It is a balance of understanding our strengths and experiences without boasting. | 8:45 – Niki asks Jess about her books and a discussion evolves around their creative process. Niki talks about how her writing process is active. She has tried to sit in front of a computer and force herself to write however it doesn’t work. They both agree that you need to find what works for you -not what other people tell you is the best way. | 10:22 – Jess talks about why and how she wrote her first book -A rough guide to a smooth life’. It was orignially a blog and someone suggested it could be a great book. The theme is how to create Plan B when Plan A is clearly not working. A lot about resilience and mindfulness. Jess went on to write her second book ‘Like a girl.’ 2 years later | 12:36 – A discussion starts about needing more feminine power in the world. Women owing their femininity and bringing that to the world. Jess makes the statement that it is about honoring all the sides of who we are. How we are not seeing a place for the feminine traits of kindness, caring and emotional intelligence in the world of leadership currently. | 15:02 – Jess discusses focusing on what we can control. We can control ourselves and that is all. We need to trust that all is cyclic | 16:53 – Niki invites Jess to consider the impact of Impostor Syndrome at mid-life. Particularly her own generation of women who were the last generation of women to collectively make motherhood a career choice. How does one feel capable in a world that favours youth and relevance. | 18:10 – ‘Having experience that demonstrates your competence helps with your confidence.’ Drawing on adversaries that we have overcome and successes we have achieved no matter how irrelevant they may seem. | 19:42 – Looking at transferable skills. A discussions starts on the terrible mental health statistics that surrounds mid-lifers. | 22:47 – What advice would Jess give her 20 year old self? Jess talks about how she spent a lot of her your adulthood and her life, being what she thought others needed her to be and trying to fit in. She would tell her 20 year old self to stop doing that because it really doesn’t matter. | 25:53 – Has worrying about what other people think increased because of the presence of Social Media. All the images we are bombarded with to compare ourselves with. People seeking validation through likes and follows on Social Media platforms. | 27:53 – Has the success culture got out of control.
Published: 10/30/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 23-10-2019 Ep 34( 0:29:42)       
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In this episode Niki talks to Angela Barnett from Pretty Smart about body image as we age. | 1:45 – Angela gives a bit of her background and why she speaks up about body image and the representation of women in the media. | 2:45 – Angela talks about her experience at a camp with teenage girls in America and noticed the way girls compared themselves by the way they looked. | 3:45 – Niki puts it our there that she feels far more judged by other women than by men and asks do we use it as a tool to keep each other in check? Are we raised to do this without realizing? | 5:00 – Niki compares today’s individualistic society with ancient history when working together was needed for survival. When women were left to work as a team to raise the children and tend the nest. | 6:45 – A discussion around women supporting each other and do we today? Niki refers to Lean In and Sheryl Sandbergs experience of having great female leaders to move her career forward. | 8:04 – Niki asks Angela if there is anything that has surprised her about getting older. Angela talks about the assumption you make when you are young that when you get older you want to be younger and actually, as she has got older she has no desire to be young again. How it keeps getting better as we age. | 10:00 – Why are we so anti-ageing in society today? What scares us about getting older? How we can feel wonderful on the inside and yet be judged by the outside and how people comment when we have aged which is what we are supposed to do. | 11:20 – when do we decide that getting older is not a good thing. Angela talks about the different stages. When we are young teens and move through to our twenties we are told to look hotter and older. Then in your twenties you want to be taken more seriously so you try and look a little bit older but not too much older. Then between 28-35 you are told to still look hotter but start to look younger and that is the message for the rest of your life. So after 35ish you have to start maintaining your youthful look. | 13:10 – A discussion around the beauty industry and the pressure it puts on women to look younger so it can sell product. Both Niki and Angela discuss how they feel the perceived quality of the products we use because of price, does not seem to make any difference | 14:40 – Niki asks Angela if she is happy with her life at 49. Angela mentions Brene Brown’s idea that we learn to say no to things we don’t want to do and yes to things we really do. Choosing a moment of discomfort versus a hour or more of resentment when we agree to do something that we do not want to do. | 16:20 – A discussion around the badge of honour we associate with busyness. Niki talks about telling clients that when we learn to say no we can learn to say yes with grace. NIki talks about how she has given up guilt when she says no to things. | 19:10 – Niki asks Angela what advice she would give her 20 year old self. Angela reveals that she was knee deep into an eating disorder in her twenties. Angela talks about telling her 20 year old self to be kind to herself, to reassure herself that she would get through this and that she will develop a great relationship with herself and then she will have a great relationship with someone else. | 21:20 – A discussion begins around women making food their enemy and how so many women put themselves on diets consistently. Angela believes we do not get told enough that a normal healthy body includes a round stomach. How in history a flat stomach was a representation of you not having had children. How we are pressured by the ‘get your body back when you have had a baby’ movement. | 24;13 – Niki puts the idea forward that she is saddened that even something as important as having children is marred by the pressure to get our body back to pre-children shape. She also mentions time in Italy where all shapes and sizes were wearing bikini’s without a care. Can we fight the commercial machine? Is it the last power to keep women down by shaming us about how we look. | 25:40 – Angela talks about how she tells young girls about the pressure they will be under by the media to look and be a certain way. She refers back to the 70’s when women were burning their bras as an attempt to throw away the shackles of having to look a certain way."
Published: 10/23/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 16-10-2019 - Ep 33 - R18( 0:30:21)       
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Jacqui Oliver, Psychosexual Relationship Specialist - Part 2
Published: 10/16/2019 4:15:00 PM
Middlicious - 09-10-2019 Ep 32 - R18( 0:29:30)       
Episode Information
Jacqui Oliver - Psychosexual Relationship Specialist, Part 1 - Please be aware todays episode is R18 rated so be careful who you listen to it around. Please also be aware it discusses topics that may be uncomfortable for you or may trigger you. - Niki interviews Jacqui Olliver – a psychosexual relationship specialist. | 2:33 – Jacqui talks about her journey into doing what she does now and shares her story of sexual abuse. | 3:50 – a discussion about how Jacqui trained for the work she does now. She discusses the connection between the brain and the supposed sexual dysfunction. | 5:10 – Niki asks Jacqui how do we find out people have a sexual dysfunction issue when it is not something we openly discuss with others. | 6:30 – Niki asks Jacqui about the influence of porn at a time when it is readily available. Is porn a symptom of or a contributing factor to sexual dysfunction? | 7:55 – Jacqui quotes statistics that claim 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation and 30% suffer from erectile dysfunction. Jacqui goes on to say that the statistics increase to 1 in 2 men over 40. She also says that 80% of women find it hard to orgasm during intercourse and 20% of those women can’t orgasm at all. She says that this causes confusion so people turn to porn for their sexual education. | 10:30 – Niki relates this to her days as a health teacher at secondary school teaching sex education with the focus being on safe sex, STI’s, consent and avoiding pregnancy. Never a conversation around the emotional or mental side of sex. | 12:10 – Niki asks Jacqui if there is a lot of shame around sexual dysfunction, particularly with men, or is that a myth. | 13:24 – Niki asks Jacqui to explain what psycho sexual relationship specialist is and how it is different from sex therapists. Jacqui says she deals specifically with the mechanics of sex. | 15:20 – What about Viagra and other suchlike medication. Have they helped or hindered sexual dysfunction? | 19:15 – Jacqui states the 4 things that contribute to sexual dysfunction – your emotions, your thinking, your physical health and your relationship with your partner which if bad, can cause mental contamination. | 21.10- the correlation between being in a relationship and seeking help for sexual dysfunction. | 21:45 – Niki invites Jacqui to explain mental contamination. (thinking about the wrong thing at the wrong time) | 25:15 – Niki asks for clarity around men watching porn and its contribution to unhealthy views on women and their part in the sexual act. | 26:14 – Jacqui talks about the mental side of the process of watching porn and the story around watching porn.
Published: 10/9/2019 4:15:00 PM

Niki G will interview guests and hold discussions around what contributes to living a great mid-life.


Host: MPR - Manawatu People's Radio
Produced By: MPR - Manawatu People's Radio
Language: English
Category: Health
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